FIFTH FPR – JACK’S SAUSAGE AND MUSHROOM PIZZA

Wisconsin founded, Switzerland owned, Jack’s Frozen Pizza has been a staple in my fridge as long as I can remember

Data from PL:

• suggested cook time 13-15 minutes
• $3.33(three for $10)
• 18.3 ounces
• 1160 Cal/FP
• very nice numbers: 348 Cal/$, 5.5 oz/$

You already know what it is. You already know how it do. Jack’s.

FP review:

Appearance:

Classic middle tier FPP (frozen pizza packaging), bright colors and melted cheese everywhere. A pretty picture if I’ve ever seen one.

Note:the Kraft logo is no longer on the FPP as Jack’s was bought by Nestle in 2010.

When the CFP came out of the oven I realized the Cornicione was not of even thickness around the pie. See the picture below for a visualization of the problem.

see the upper left of the pie for the strange crust conundrum

Besides the lack of toppings on a small fraction of the pie, it came out of the oven looking alright. The cheese browned finely across a wide array of yellows ranging from flax in the middle, all the way to a dark goldenrod on the outside. The sausage pieces looked just great, and the mushrooms were there.

This was supposed to be a section view. Sorry Alan. I would take another picture, but the FP is all gone. It went beddy bye.

Nose:

The tomato definitely overpowers the nose. It’s a processed tomato scent reminiscent of canned pasta. Spaghetti-O’s probably. Otherwise you can sort of smell the crust maybe?

Mouth-feel:

Nothing terrible, nothing great. The sauce is a little light, but the crust is pretty thin so you don’t need a lot of spaghetti-O juice to get you through each bite. Despite the crust only being 6 millimeters thick, it does have an interesting texture profile. On the bottom it is a crunchy as you would imagine a baked tortilla would be, but as you progress up around 4 millimeters, it gets sort of tomato logged. It’s kind of soggy, a little unpleasant, but not awful by any means. The mushrooms are very slimy, even more so than the mushrooms on the O’grady FP. The sausage comprised of pork, chicken and beef was pretty frangible. Reminded me of cheap microwavable breakfast sausage. Pleasant.

Overall:

Jack’s makes a fair to middling product for a cheap price. This has made them a lot of money and a lot of fans. If you have a free minute and want to read some interesting comments about Jack’s FP’s head over to their facebook page. I found this comment pretty entertaining:

Tim Oreilly:”i live in central illinois eat jack’s almost everyday.i should be quality control.this weeks crust was a little cardy and the sauce seemed bland. i eat the supreme at least 20 times a month. been eating that way at least 5 yrs. p.s.hook me up with some swag or a taste testing job.”

This was a decent FP, and you don’t need to wait for it to go on sale to enjoy at least 20 of them a month like Tim.

Ratings:

Value: 88/100 – The highest Cal/$ and oz/$, and I enjoyed the majority of my bites.

Taste: 79/100 – The sauce was a little cheap tasting, and the topping mix-up left a large portion being very bland, but the cheese and toppings held the pie together.

Aura: 82/100 – The Jack’s logo has a comforting atmosphere about it, and i don’t feel out of my comfort zone when I reach for a Jack’s at the local FPM (frozen pizza market).

Mouth-feel: 73/100 – Soggy, no glaring problems. O.K.

Overall: 81/100 – B/C

Suggested wine paring – Meritage

There’s a new Facebook fan page that you can check out here. like it if you haven’t already. Also, posted there is a response I got from the Screamin’ Sicilian Pizza Company.

FOURTH FPR – SCREAMIN’ SICILIAN PIZZA CO. HOLY PEPPERONI

I’ve got a classic FP for ya’ll tonight. Loaded to the brim with pepperoni and cheese.

Data from PB (pizza box):

• suggested cook time 17-19 minutes
• $8.99 (we made it)
• 22.3 ounces
• 1500 Cal/FP
• get ready to be underwhelmed: 167 Cal/$, 2.5 oz/$

Strange packaging, seems to be a solid FP tho

FP review:

Appearance:

This FP comes in a brown cardboard box with a mustache shown below. Seems like a progressive FPM from the radical gang signs prominently displayed at the top of the box (click to enlarge and see for yourself).

Woah someone shave that pizza. Don’t forget to shave me a slice. hahaha

The pizza came out of the box looking like a champ. Crumbled pepperoni covered the pie, as if there were a torrential downpour of the topping from the skies, and it all landed right on those 113 square inches of meatiness. Can you imagine if it rained pepperoni? I can’t.

top view. Look at that pepperoni. All that red stuff is pep pep. No sauce, just bo$$

The Wisconsin three cheese blend cooked to perfection, and the crust baked to a golden brown I just couldn’t keep my eyes off of.

oblique view of the pie (complete justice). pen for scale.

Nose:

Smells like butter a lot. After the butter clears there’s sort of a New-Orleans inspired bakery note that hits you on the front of the palate, while a briny porcine scent unabashedly nails the aft of the palate. An intense experience.

Mouth-feel:

There is a lot of grease. The crust is very flaky and moist for PC (pizza crust). The crumbled pepperoni feels more like pepperoni you would see in a butcher shop than on an FP, meaning it’s a robust high quality beef and pork product. The zesty Italian tomato sauce provides plenty of moisture. Each bite seems very rich though. Almost to the point of me not wanting to finish the whole pie (spring break is next week).

Overall: This is an expensive pie, but it seems like Screamin’ Sicilian Pizza Co. spent the money on high quality ingredients. I’m not sure if the difference between this pie and a $4.00 pie is really large enough to justify the extra $$$. The Holy Pepperoni definitely tasted great, but because of how expensive it is I don’t see too many more of them in my future.

Ratings:

Value: 44/100 – Really just too pricey SSPC (screamin’ sicilian pizza co.). Maybe if I had a coupon, or your pies were on sale, I would give you a higher rating here, but it just didn’t come together. This FP had by far the lowest Cal/$ and oz/$. Just not worth it.

Taste: 89/100 – Great tasting pie, just a little too rich and greasy at some points. The mozzarella, parmesan, romano blend was one of my favorite cheese blends I’ve experienced so far.

Aura: 72/100 – Hard to put a number on it this week. Maybe if I sat down and had a talk with the owner of Screamin’ Sicilian I would be more comfortable with the packaging, but it comes off as a little corny.

Mouth-feel: 92/100 – Pretty greasy, but one of the most balanced pies I’ve had in this department. Didn’t have any strange textures, just crust, sauce, cheese and meat, the way Raffaele Esposito intended it.

Overall: 75/100 – C.. I would eat this pie again, but I wouldn’t pay $9 for it.

Suggested wine pairing: Ancient Peak Zinfandel Paso Robles 2009

Check back mid-week for an exciting new feature. It’s a surprise. Tell all of your friends and family about this blog. It is important.

 

 

THIRD FPR – TRADER GIOTTO’S ARUGULA PIZZA

I have an interesting flavor combination for you all today. I was PS (pizza shopping) the other day at Trader Joe’s, and I saw a very inviting FP I just had to try.

Data from PL:

• suggested cook time 9-11 minutes (4-5 in the microwave, but do not believe in microwaving FP’s)
• $4.29
• 15.3 ounces
• 990 Calories/FP
• the important stuff: 231 Cal/$, 3.6 oz/$

Cozy little FP

FP review:

Appearance:

Fresh, beguiling VFP (Vegetarian FP). The cheese didn’t get quite as caramelized as I would like, but the crust was starting to darken and I was filled with hunger. The arugula and cherry tomatoes colors contrasted each other nicely on the 4 cheese canvas. This pie is the smallest in diameter I’ve reviewed so far, but it still looked more formidable than the Roma. Included below are a few shots of the cooked FP courtesy of Alan Marmptin.

beautiful pizza. uneven tomato population. My fault for not redistributing them.

Isometric view of FP

Nose: Smells vaguely fresh. Pretty fresh for an FP. Sort of like frozen spinach, definitely like frozen arugula. The blend of mozzarella, manchego provolone and pecorino cheeses has a strong feta-esque bouquet.

Mouth-feel: My first bite had a perfect ratio of crust to sauce to cheese to topping (3:1:2:1), after that the sauce coverage became a little sparse and I found myself reaching for the wine. The perimeter of the crust was quite crunchy, but not undesirably so. Occasionally I found the Arugula stringy, which was probably this FP’s biggest negative in the mouth-feel department. The pieces of cherry tomato added a burst of fresh flavor and moisture, that was definitely needed at points along this journey.

Overall: My first VFP, but probably not my last. This was a different sort of FP; it had significantly brighter flavors and a higher vitamin content than most I’ve tasted, but at the end of the day it was positively still an FP.

“Everything in the world is exactly the same”
– Kanye West 2014

Ratings:

Value: 79/100 – Looked a little small coming out of the oven, but when the final slice had been dispatched I felt ok about it all.

Taste: 89/100 – I personally enjoyed the strong flavor of the cheese, but I can see how it could be a bit much for some.

Aura: 75/100 – Trader Joe’s tries pretty hard. Whatever…

Mouth-feel: 73/100 – Dry at times, usually fine. stringy arugula…

Overall: 79/100 B/C

Suggested wine pairing: Bogle Sauvignon Blanc (found on momtastic.com)

Keep on eating pizza. It is great. Regards. Check back next week for another wonderful FPR.

RESPONSE FROM OGRADY’S PIZZA LLC

I received a response from the Ogrady’s Pizza Facebook page:

“O’Grady’s Pizza LLC

Hello Paul, thank you for the review! I would urge you to try our sausage & pepperoni, deluxe & bacon cheeseburger flavors. We do not have mushrooms on our deluxe because we found a lot if [sic] people don’t care for them, we do however add diced pepperoni on the deluxe & SP. I think we have the best S&P on the market!”

I will definitely be checking out the SPFP. Let me know if any of you get a chance to try out the others! jusqu’à la prochaine fois

SECOND FPR – O’GRADY’S PREMIUM SAUSAGE AND MUSHROOM

Well well well, have I got a doozy for you this week. The pie we’re working with tonight was gifted to me by fellow FPE (frozen pizza enthusiast) Alexander J. Martin. When I laid my eyes on this beauty I knew the tides of mouth-feel had turned. The O’grady pizza brand is a newcomer to the FP market, and I am more than anxious to give this Wisconsin based FPM (frozen pizza manufacturer) a chance.  

Data provided on PL (pizza label):

• suggested cook time 12-18 minutes (Wide range there O’grady)
• $5.99 (Free 99 4 me though)
• 25.5 ounces
• 1750 Calories/FP
• deliverables: 292 Cal/$, 4.3 oz/$

Very sturdy FP.

FP review:

Appearance: Great looking FP before it was put in the oven, even better looking when it came out. The three cheese blend caramelized evenly along the outer edge of the pie, while the middle remained its natural stil de grain yellow hue. The pork sausage glistened in the inefficient incandescent light, and the mushrooms looked ok. Very good looking FP.

Nose: I have a cold…

Mouth-feel: Rich gooey cheese blend of mozzarella provolone and cheddar. Required at least 7 chews to break up into swallow-able cheese morsels. The Italian pork sausage crumbled nicely. The crust was flaky and the sauce provided ample moisture for each bite to be a rewarding experience. My only complaint in this area was that the mushrooms were definitely of the canned variety. They were slimey where i wished they provided more texture to the pie to add some variety.

Overall: Now this is a great FP. I will definitely be purchasing some O’grady’s in the future. I ate 3/4 of the pie by myself without much of a struggle. Decidedly filling, absolutely zesty.

Ratings:

Value: 77/100 – A little pricey for a frozen pizza, but contributed more than enough nourishment for a meal+.

Taste: 88/100 – I really enjoyed the spice of the sausage paired with the richness of the cheese

Aura: 93/100 – looked like a pie, smelled like an FP, tasted like a dream.

Mouth-feel: 86/100 – again, only gripe here was the mushy mushrooms.

Overall: 89/100 A/B

Suggested background music: Pizza love

Suggested wine pairing: Hartford 2007 Highwire Vineyard Zinfandel

Come back next week for another wonderful FPR. I hope all of your weeks go as well as this FP tasted.

First FPR (frozen pizza review) – Roma Bacon Cheeseburger

Before I delve into the meat of my first FPR (no plain cheese yet rofl), I’m going to set some general guidelines for what you can expect from each and every FPR. First, you’ll be getting the nominal data on calories/$, oz/$, and cook time. Next you’ll get an in-depth review of the complex flavors each and every pie delivers 2 ur mouth hole. Finally I’ll be giving the FP a 1-100 score in a bunch of different categories including mouth-feel. Buckle up.

The Roma Bacon Cheeseburger FP:

Data provided by bernatellos:

• suggested cook time 11-14 minutes
• $2.50 (4 FP’s for $10)
• 13 ounces (not gonna break your back carrying these around)
• 840 Calories/FP
• whatchu came for: 336 Cal/$, 5.2 oz/$

This is the first FPR, so there’s nothing to compare these numbers to, but I will say this pizza seemed particularly light and thin.

FP review:

Appearance: I didn’t get a picture of the FP, but the packaging provides a loose idea of what to expect. The main difference between the picture below and what sat on my table, was the noticeable disparity in toppings. The meat bits were fewer, and markedly smaller on my pie. The cheese coverage was spotty, and the crust was thin to the point of fracturing at many points along the perimeter of this sorry CFP (cooked frozen pizza). 

Nose: Immediately hit with strong notes of artificial happiness. Hints of processed meat and cave aged cheese. Finishes with a gentle whiff of regret.

Taste: Not good. There were not many distinct flavors I could pull from the pie. It had melded together into one giant slab of warm homogenized regret. When I tasted the meat bits by themselves, I couldn’t tell what I was eating. It tasted salty I guess, not a lot else.

Mouth-feel: each bite had a lot of crunch. The crust was dry, and the small amount of sauce did not provide sufficient moisture to combat the arid base of the pie. The meat bits were chewy.

Overall: I would not recommend this FP to anyone. I have had ok success in the past with ROMA pizzas before, but this particular FP was one of the worst I have had.

Ratings:

Value: 62/100 – very cheap, but also not a lot of sustenance provided.

Taste: 17/100 – I made it through the entire FP, but it was not easy…

Aura: 14/100 – Everything felt wrong.

Mouth-feel: 24/100 -very unpleasant.

Overall: 31/100 F

Suggested wine pairing: 2012 Charles Shaw Cabernet Sauvignon

Hopefully next time things go better. That’s it for now, check back every Sunday night for a new FPR.